One of the lessons I had to learn over and over again throughout my life (and in the last few months) is to allow myself to
Feel it all
the happiness
the joy
the excitement
the love
Feel it all
the sadness
the pain
the terror
the disgust
Feel it all
the discontent
the frustration
the indifference
the despair
Feel it all
the butterflies
the unicorns
the rainbows
the stars
Just feel it all
as life is nothing
nothing
nothing
without your feelings.
If you try to numb
distract
deflect
all the time
you are missing out on everything.
And instead of living
you are existing.
It’s easy to distract
by buying just one more pair of shoes.
It’s easy to numb
by overexercising to take the pain away.
It’s easy to deflect
by rewatching just five more seasons of your favorite show.
It’s easy to fight boredom
by eating until you can’t breathe anymore.
It’s easy to fight feelings
by hopping from one diet to the next.
It’s easy not to feel.
But is it really?
Is the price not too high?
The price of not living?
The price of not healing?
The price of never fully being ALIVE?
Just so that you don’t need to feel what you feel anyway?
And you know it –
no matter how hard you try
no matter how much money you spend
no matter how many hours you scroll through Insta & Co –
you do feel.
You do notice the pain
the happiness
the joy that’s leaking even though you can’t
won’t
don’t want to feel.
The grounding you experience from filling up on food
the heartache you experience from waking up in yet another bed
the terror you experience from missing just a short run.
they’re all a tiny distraction, aren’t they?
They don’t really work.
They don’t even serve as a hint of a bandaid for your emotional pain.
For your dissatisfaction.
Your boredom.
Your fear of being yourself.
They don’t even serve as a hint of a moment of peace because –
underneath the layers of “I have to buy all of this now or I’ll never be able to breathe again”
there’s a mountain of air desperate to be inhaled.
And you have the capacity to inhale it all.
Just like you’re inhaling the food, you really don’t want to eat.
The same is true for those exhales,
exhaling the terror you feel inside is easy –
you don’t need TikTok to do so.
All you have to do is take a breath,
even if it’s the smallest, tiniest one, and then –
with courage
breathe it all out.
And again.
And again.
Until your circle of breath begins to be smoother, braver, and more life-affirming.
You don’t have to deny yourself your feelings to survive.
In fact, the only way you’ll live is if you allow yourself to feel it all now.
Feel it all
the happiness
the joy
the excitement
the love
Feel it all
the sadness
the pain
the terror
the disgust
Feel it all
the discontent
the frustration
the indifference
the despair
Feel it all
the butterflies
the unicorns
the rainbows
the stars
Our feelings are here for a reason.
The traumas you’ve experienced are here to be healed.
And you have the power
the capacity
the inner wisdom to heal it all.
You will need support
but there’s no shame in that.
You will need time
and there’s only love in that.
You will need patience
yet we know you’ve been patient for long enough.
Now’s the time for you to stand up like nobody’s business.
Let others talk.
Let others gossip.
Let others misunderstand.
It doesn’t matter.
This is about you and you.
This is about the most important relationship of your life.
If you want to heal your relationship with yourself,
then this is your decision
and you’re the one who’ll live with the beautiful rewards of your work.
So, stop holding your breath,
stop hating on yourself just so it hurts,
stop waiting to go under and, instead
take that deep breath and rise
rise
rise
to the surface of your life –
and beyond –
up into the sphere that surrounds it all –
the place you truly belong
soaring on this planet
soaring in your existence
soaring in the knowledge of how very worthy you are.
It’s about feeling
the good,
the “what we label as” bad,
the in-between.
It’s about feeling
believing
trusting that your feelings are right,
they’re your guiding light.
Don’t numb them,
don’t cheat on them by denying their existence,
don’t hurt yourself by distracting yourself.
And instead,
feel,
feel,
feel
in order to heal your open wounds
and, therefore, your entire life.
Oh, I want to see you soar.
And I have no doubt that you will wake up one day with an unwavering sense of your infinite worth and your unbelievable beauty.
You, however, have to do the work to get to that glorious morning written in your stars and designed as part of your path in this life.
So, feel.
Just,
feel.
