“If you want a little fear and terror, get a future.” – Byron Katie
That was my favorite line in the Byron Katie workshop and I can’t get it out of my head.
It’s so so true.
If we just focused on the present, on the here and now, we’d be perfect, all the time.
We’d be happy.
We’d know what to do, when to do, how to do it.
Because all there’d be was NOW.
There wouldn’t be any thoughts about how we looked 10 years ago and how much we hate our bodies now.
There wouldn’t be any limiting beliefs about the next diet we have to start because that’s the only way we’ll ever be accepted by the guy we (think) we like.
There wouldn’t be any fears about overeating or bingeing because we would be totally focused on what is happening in this moment:
your body’s response to what you’re doing,
your emotional state,
your complete and utter freedom.
And yet our minds always either remember or anticipate.
We’re always in the future or in the past.
We are never here. Now.
Because, for us, that’s not good enough.
No, we have to remember: otherwise how would we know how to change? Whom to trust? What they said? Who we are?
No, we have to worry: otherwise how would we ever survive?
But what if this moment was all we had?
Which it totally is.
There’s no future.
There’s no past.
All that is real is this moment.
And that’s already gone anyway.
So, really, what are we worried about?
What are we holding on to?
It’s all in our heads and – as you know – our thoughts create our feelings, which create our actions, which make up our lives.
So, the constant focus on the future and the past makes sure that we create a life that mirrors our fears, our past, our terror of the future.
And we’re the ones who’re doing it.
We’re also the ones who can break free –
with practice,
with patience,
with the particular awareness that the work isn’t done until it’s done.
I am learning this, still, 5 years into thought inquiry,
2 deep and comprehensive coaching trainings later.
Thousands of hours spent in contemplation, meditation and journaling.
This healing of your life is not a quick fix.
This learning to be in the here and now is not an overnight thing.
The letting go of your need to be thin at all cost is not a one-off deal.
It’s a commitment.
It’s a practice.
It’s a devotion to sitting in silence, being with your emotions without numbing them, without eating them, without drowning them in substances.
So, if we’re in fear,
if we’re in the hopeless situation of having to change the body (which is never true),
if we’re in the never-ending nightmare of daily binges,
how do we come back to the present without imagining a future of horror?
How do we remind ourselves that now is all we have,
that really, it’s a friendly present,
and that this is the only moment we have power over?
We do it by being gentle with ourselves,
by reminding us,
first through external cues, than internally,
that we have power,
that we can breathe into any emotions,
that we can do The Work or other forms of thought inquiry.
We do it by beginning again
and again
and again.
By not forgetting about what we have to do to,
no,
we all have “lives” –
although do we? –
but by still making time for this crucially important work.
Which is the work of your life.
Which is –
really –
why you’re here for.
Your pain is real and yet, it’s not.
It’s all in your brain
and you remember moments when you’ve been free, right?
Even if you have to go back 40 years ago,
you once had moments where you were free and without worry.
You can have those moments again and again –
little by little they’ll come back.
By breathing into your emotions
By meditating on your thoughts
By questioning your beliefs
By burning through the ring of fire
you can get back to your core.
The place where you know that you are going to be alright
That you have always been alright
That things might be bad right now
but that those circumstances cannot break you,
will not break you,
don’t even have the chance to harm your spirit.
It’s not really all that complicated –
even if you believe it is
and trust me,
I am the MASTER of believing that it’s all so complicated.
It’s not really all that painful –
even if you believe it is
and yes, I know pain.
It’s not really that hopeless –
even if you believe it is
there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
So, when it hurts so bad that you want to go back to restricting,
to bingeing,
to overexercising,
breathe,
ground,
question
and allow the magic to unfold.
Even if you have to do these steps 90 times a minute, it’s OK.
That’s how it works.
That’s how it’s being done.
That’s how you get the results you desire and
quite frankly
deserve.
You might shed more tears by refusing to go back to restricting
to dieting
to overeating
to shaming
but every single one of those drops will be worth the pain.
Which isn’t really pain anyway, right?
Because it’s just our thoughts that create the pain.
If it weren’t for our thoughts, we’d not be in pain.
We’d just be here. now.
No worries,
no fears,
no terror inside.
It would all just be.
It would all just be love.
So, how are you choosing to live in fear and terror at this point?
How are you anticipating a future of hating your body,
of being fat (OMG!!!),
of never being at peace with food
when the reality is much kinder than your projections?
How are you refusing to allow life to be your teacher and instead always go for the past and the future,
to deflect,
to clutter,
to deny?
How are you hurting yourself now?
And thereby actually creating a future that is based on your current horror thoughts?
Don’t beat yourself up for doing it, please.
We all do.
But we can learn to lean in,
to heal,
by – and I’ll say it again –
breathing
grounding
questioning
and then
releasing.
Only to do it again –
until you don’t have to do it anymore.
***
It’s time to get to the core of what’s keeping you locked in diet prison and create the freedom you desire.
Book a coaching call with me and experience the power of deep and instant healing.
