There’s this thing women tend to do:
we make everyone but ourselves our world.
People – out there –
mean more to us than we do to ourselves.
Men, the way society views our body, the media,
teachers,
bosses,
friends,
children,
they all mean the world to us –
but we ourselves?
We don’t mean a thing to ourselves.
We twist and bend
in order to make others our world
and then, we totally and completely forget
that we deserve to be the center of our own world too.
It’s crazy when we really think about it.
Why would we choose to make our bodies out to be more important than our core?
Why would we choose to put so much focus on a part of us instead of focusing all of our energy on
all of us?
It’s a beautiful dream –
the dream of finding worthiness once we have the body of our dreams.
It’s a beautiful dream –
the dream of feeling great once we have the weight we’ve been dreaming of since we were 10.
It’s a beautiful dream –
the dream of never suffering again once we finally stick to the diet that failed us a billion times before.
It’s a beautiful dream,
but really, it’s a nightmare.
And you are romanticizing it.
Every part of it.
You are creating an illusion that is as painful as anything you’ve ever experienced,
but
you make it out to be the miracle of your existence.
When in reality,
you know
that you know
that you have always known
that no matter how thin you are
no matter how little you weigh
it’s nothing but a distraction from the pain you’ve been feeling inside.
The pain that you’ve been trying to ignore
the pain that you’ve always felt
the pain that’s not vanishing
no matter how much you’re trying to make everything
but yourself
your world.
So, you’re dieting even though it hurts.
Like hell.
So, you’re shaming yourself even though you know
there’s no point in it.
Because nothing will get better.
Nothing will be healed.
So, you beat yourself up every time you eat
because you’ve learned
been trained
that no matter what you eat
it’s always going to be too much
it’s always going to be wrong.
So, you live your life on the sidelines
in your mind
never in your body
but always thinking about your body
24/7
in your self-created hell.
When are you going to wake up?
When are you going to allow yourself to open your eyes?
Well, really, you already have, right?
You are awake
but you aren’t allowing yourself to be.
It’s a beautiful dream
one that’s a nightmare
the worst you’ve ever had
and you keep yourself from waking up
from escaping
from simply coming back to the here and now
reality
the present moment.
And instead of being free
you wake up every morning
feeling sick
nauseous
being in massive emotional and physical pain.
And instead of owning your life
you go to bed
crying
hating on who you are
despairing in the terror of your life.
And there’s no judgement,
of course not.
We’ve all been there,
we’ve all done it.
The desperate holding on to the need of making your body right in order to make your life something that is hasn’t been in decades.
The desperate need to make something work in your life when –
as it seems –
nothing else seems to make sense.
The desperate desire to finally be at peace
and –
for the first time ever –
not feel like you’re falling apart.
But,
I can promise you,
hating on your body,
shaming yourself,
making your body your entire world,
won’t take away the complete less of purpose
and hope.
But,
I can promise you,
dieting,
living on 500 calories a day,
eating only peaches and grapes,
won’t give you the happiness you so acutely crave.
Distraction won’t heal.
Shaming won’t heal.
Hating won’t heal.
Love heals.
Compassion heals.
Gentleness heals.
If you can find only a moment of kindness for yourself and your body every day you will make great steps towards the level of peace you desire.
It won’t happen in a tidal wave.
The peace of mind won’t arrive in the next 5 minutes.
But if you stop making your body your world and instead
make yourself your world again
the freedom will happen
because you are going to make it happen.
So, stop wanting your fears, doubts, painful thoughts to be washed away
by focusing all your energy, hopes and life force on your shape and instead
stand up tall
and own your life –
like the Goddess you are.
And that,
this is a promise too,
will create that beautiful dream
only
it will be a reality.
Your reality.
***
Is your heart tugging at you, letting you know that it’s time to step it up and heal?
Does it make you queasy, scared shitless just thinking about contemplating what’s possible for you?
And yet, do you feel moved to change your pain and your life?
Then book your discovery session with me now and let’s dive into the deep end of the pool – knowing that it’s scary and a real challenge for you. And that’s OK. Book your call with me anyway.
