Saved!
It’s so easy to yearn to be saved –
by anyone
but yourself.
It’s so easy
these days
to want to be the one who’s swept up by
anyone
but yourself
to be taken care of
to be loved
to be healed
by anyone
but yourself.
Saved!
It’s so easy –
you hear it everywhere –
you see it everywhere –
the lyrics
the movies
the books
they’re still
all
about needing to be saved.
I know there are those few exceptions,
but really,
the magnitude of what’s out there
what’s being read
listened to
talked about
is
about us needing to be saved.
And I was one of those
waiting
waiting
waiting
losing my mind
waiting for the one
that special person
to save me
to take away my pain
my fears
my issues with food
and my body
my fears of not being able to take care of myself
my certainty that I was not good enough
by myself.
I bought into the dream.
I believed it deeply.
I wrote it down
in my journal
I dreamt
and dreamt
and dreamt.
And I did a whole lot of stupid shit trying to find the one who was going to
save me.
I needed to be
after all
Saved!
How could I ever save myself?
Heal myself?
Take care of myself?
Love myself?
My body?
Break free of my terrorized relationship with food?
I couldn’t.
Because it’s all about being saved, right?
And the dream is great.
Oh how lovely it would be to have someone come in and take away all your troubles.
Except, it wouldn’t.
Because
then
you couldn’t
save
yourself.
Which is what you can.
Need to.
Have to
do
in order to realize your potential
and do the work you’re here to do.
You can be
Saved!
Yes,
but only if you save yourself.
There is nobody who could ever do this work for you.
Who could ever take the pain from you.
Who would ever need to carry the burden of healing you too.
It’s your job.
Not his.
It’s your job.
Not hers.
It’s your job.
Your’s alone.
To make sure that you are
Saved!
And really, what does it mean anyway to be saved?
Does it mean that you find peace of mind?
Personal power?
The knowledge that you can always count on yourself?
Healing from your past?
The respect your body deserves?
Freedom from overeating, bingeing, dieting?
What does it mean to be saved to you?
That’s the question that matters,
really.
Once you know what you feel you need saving from,
even though, what you are really going to do is uncovering who you have always been,
you’ll figure out how to get there.
Without needing to wait for the one.
Your savior.
The person who’s magically going to wrap you into golden light and make you happy every after.
It doesn’t exist, love.
Many have tried.
I have.
Still am at times.
Forgetting what I know.
No, pushing aside what I am certain of
because sometimes life gets hard and it would be so fucking amazing to just have this one person who can take all the pain away
because sometimes we just want a break
because sometimes this work gets overwhelming and we don’t want to do it alone anymore.
And you don’t have to.
Oh no,
that’s not how it works.
Of course, there’ll be angels along the way
guiding you
encouraging you
holding space for you
being with you
teaching you
holding you to your word.
And those angels will appear often and plenty and at all times.
Sometimes you just have to open your eyes.
But they won’t take away the pain.
They can’t.
You’re the one who can though
only you.
When it feels like you’re drowning
falling
can’t-get-up-hurting
these angels will be there
to hold you
to let you vent
to listen
and care.
Those angels
they’re all around you.
Do you see them?
Do you allow them to serve you?
Do you accept their presence?
Once you do, their love will be so overwhelming that it hurts –
in the most beautiful way.
Once you do, you won’t stop being in awe of how much you’re being taken care of – knowing that you’ll still have to do the work yourself.
I have so many angels in my life –
so many –
and there are days when I forget and then –
I look up and see
a random Facebook message
a Whatsapp notification
a wonderful comment in my Mastermind group
my son’s smile
my friend’s happy faces
the abundance of love and support around me.
Saved!
By yourself still.
Trust me, you can save yourself.
I never thought it was possible for me to not focus on my body
every second of every day –
to not obsess about every calorie I put into my mouth
and recount my daily intake five hundred times a minute –
to not recalculate my BMI every morning
and afternoon and night.
I never thought I would make money.
Ever.
I never believed I could.
It was a done deal.
This girl had to be saved by a guy who was going to lover her body and provide for her financially.
He needed to save me –
love my body for me
make the money for me.
And so I waited
and waited
and waited
for my savior.
Sure enough,
he appeared –
He promised to take care of me,
promised to love my body (only if she thin enough though),
promised I never had to worry about earning money.
He’d take care of me.
And he didn’t.
Of course he didn’t.
But he taught me that I needed to learn how to love myself,
my body,
my shape.
He taught me that I had to uncover the resources, self-confidence and self-esteem to go out and take care of my destiny –
by myself.
Writing my own life story.
Writing my own reality.
Going my own way.
With the help and support of those I love and who love me.
My angels.
Always there,
always amazing,
giving and receiving,
and we all know
that we have to save ourselves first
because nothing else
ever works.
Saved!
And sometimes you just have to go out and save yourself again
and again
and again.
You can!
You’ve done it before.
You will!
Even if you are certain you can’t.
Life will be your teacher –
open your heart
all the way open
and fight!
You will fall apart.
You will not like it.
You will feel desperate.
You will feel exhausted.
You will feel like you can’t do it
not good enough
never going to get there
like you are just not made for this.
But you are.
Let it hurt.
Let it kill your ego a thousand deaths.
Let it tear you apart.
And then
get up and build your life like you mean business.
Save your gorgeous self!
You are the only one –
the only freaking one –
you can do it
will do it
has to do it.
Saved!
***
Save yourself now! Book a coaching call with me today. There’s no point in waiting, hoping, wishing. You are the one who has to make it happen.
