It was about 3 weeks into isolation with just Johann and I being together ALL THE TIME that I realized something was wrong. Really wrong. Like, ‘I-really-want-to-sell-him-at-the-market’ kind of wrong. You know the feeling, right?
I mean, he’s a great kid, a really kind and wonderful boy, and I love him to pieces. But I wasn’t getting ANY private time for days and days and, well, weeks. The day I hit a breaking point because he came into my office at 4.30 am right after I got up super, extra-early to have some freaking me time, I talked to my coach about it.
Because that’s what I do when I don’t see a way out and I realize I’m losing my balance in some area of my life.
That’s why I have a Coach. And that’s why I’m so passionate about you having a Coach, as well.
I let her know what was going on and then she asked me a simple, yet profound question:
what would self-love do?
We both laughed because we know that self-love is my thing, it’s what I do with my clients every day, it’s where I live and what I’m here to bring into the world. I live and breathe self-love.
Most of the time.
But when we’re in it, in the mud, in the hole, we can’t really see what’s missing, we can’t see where we’re lacking self-love… right now. I can’t see it. You can’t see it. None of us can. That’s the definition of being in a blind spot.
And, under all the stress and tension and pressure of what’s happening in the world and here at home, I had lost my connection to what self-love would do.
When I lose my compassion, my focus on self-love, I slip into guilt and shame. The kind of guilt that tells me that I have to spend all the time with my son because he’s at home now and we’ll never have this kind of time again and I should use it create special memories AND all the other moms are doing it, so why do I feel so depleted and ready to run and hide?
Well, as soon as I tapped back into the well of self-love, I realized that I needed time for myself and that that was OK.
So, Johann and I talked about boundaries and because I know how to set boundaries in a healthy way, our conversation turned out super successful. We made a plan to use his favorite transformers as guides to show when we need time for ourselves .
The cool thing is that he got it and has been requesting me time too!
The result? We’ve been getting along so much better. I am feeling so much more connected to him and to myself and our relationship has changed drastically in a really short amount of time.
He’s learned how to use his power to create boundaries AND he’s learned to respect other people’s needs. Of course we’re still learning, but it’s still amazing to see how a little outside perspective and a short conversation can create dramatic change in your life.
Here’s the thing… I thought I was doing everything I could to be a good mom. I was investing all of my energy and time into making this isolation as easy and as gentle as possible for my beautiful little boy.
I was doing my best. And I bet you are, as well.
And that’s the thing: when we’re in a high-pressure situation we often miss what is obvious to others because we’re doing everything we know to do.
And missing what would be simplest and most loving.
That’s what I do with my clients. I give them perspective. I help them get on top of their situation, so they can get new perspectives, re-align themselves with love, and act with grace.
It’s the best way I know how to turn stress and problems into bold magnificence.
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If you’re ready to bring peace and love back to your world – even amidst the chaos! – send me a message and let me know. We’ll talk. I’m offering some very special coaching packages – at my lowest rates in years! – during this time to make sure that if you’re ready for support you can access it.
