Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by the lovely and uber inspiring Rita Chand. 

“When you fall in love with yourself, you will be irresistible to everyone else.” – Alan Cohen

To say I’m honoured to be writing about this would be an understatement. I come from a long line of negative self-talk and hatred for myself and who I am. And yet I am here to talk to you about what it’s like to love yourself and what becomes available when we start to accept who we are instead of resisting all the best parts of us.

My background probably sounds a lot like yours or someone you know. When you hear I was a lovely child, and then at some point, somewhere in my “highly influenced” years, someone made a comment about my appearance.

And so it begins. I got scared, I recoiled, I did what kids do when someone talks about what they look like.  I don’t think it matters much if it’s a positive comment or a negative one.

We aren’t aware of ourselves until someone points it out to us. [Click to Tweet]

I got sick, landed in the hospital for weeks with pneumonia and came out of the hospital at 8 years old, with a bulging belly. I don’t know where it came from, but there it was.

Then, someone said something

Life used to be about playing outside with my cousins. And it slowly became about hiding behind pillows and sitting behind couches so no one would comment on what I looked like at family gatherings. Then, one Sunday afternoon over lunch, someone said something.

So began a lifetime of trying to hide out in plain sight.  Trying to make myself smaller by wearing clothes that were too big, giving my personality a chance to shine so that I could be known as the girl who “had a great personality”.

I started growing my hair. I thought, for the longest time, that at the very least, I could have good hair.  And I did.  For many years.

It didn’t matter much that I had great hair and a great personality. I still cried myself to sleep at night. On the surface, I was the girl who loved life. Underneath it all, I was the girl who hated everything about herself.

I started to come out of that mindset over the past 10 years or so. I had much to forgive myself for.  I had much to forgive my parents for. I just had much to forgive. 

I Started to See Myself

To really see myself. I started to appreciate myself, and the gifts I bring to the world. I started, daily, being grateful. All those things that we’ve seen in different self-help books, they really do work. Over  time.

I started to live life the way I wanted to live it, not the way others always thought I should. I took the word “should” out of my vocabulary. I stopped “can’t-ing” myself. I started an “I CAN” list. I started sharing with the people in my life the things that mattered to me.

Slowly, it all started to come together. I started to notice I was more excited to wake up in the morning. I was ready to face the world, just being myself.

Then, after a immobilizing dual quad injury, (I pulled both my quads in an exercise class – at the same time!) I spent 10 months feeling sorry for myself. I went back to bad habits of eating and drinking crap, not taking care of myself, not getting enough sleep, feeling discouraged and cynical about pretty much every single area of my life.

Blaming my job, my friends, my family, myself, for all the things that no longer worked. Mostly because I was frustrated with this injury and didn’t know what to do about it. 

6 Months Ago, Everything Changed

I took on my health and well being in a way I’d never taken it on before. I started new habits. Made myself a priority. Took out wheat, sugar, most dairy, processed foods, and noticed that the inflammation in my legs was suddenly gone. I could walk normally again. I started to feel better physically.

Which dominoes into me feeling better about myself.  The more I made myself a priority, the more people in my circle started to support me. I started sharing. The most empowering thing I ever did for myself was start sharing what my goals were, what I was taking on, what i wanted and especially what I was struggling with.

The more I shared, the more inspired I became and the more inspired others around me became. [Click to Tweet]

I feel like I’ve waited my whole life to become this person. I feel safe to take down the walls that were never necessary. To stop protecting myself from unseen demons, and especially, to open myself up to loving myself and allowing others to love me too.

I can tell you in no uncertain terms, I’ve never been more enamoured with myself, than I am today.

How do I love me…? Let me count the ways.

Emerging from an arranged marriage sanctioned by my traditional Indian family, I have come a long way.  My EUREKA! moment came when I was chosen from several hundred candidates to work for the Beijing and Vancouver Olympics. Witnessing firsthand how people fought for what they loved by living and breathing their passions, fuelled my devotion to my own!  

Noticing a disconnect that comes with technology and the furious pace of life; I set out to reconnect with people and to help them reconnect with others through The Year of Hugging Fearlessly. Every day for a year, I made the commitment to hug a new person, sharing all the insights and inspirational stories along the way.  Known locally as the “Hugger Girl”, my celebrity  grew with every speaking engagement, television appearance and event I participated in. Feeling empowered through connecting with others, and fuelled by the belief that every person has a unique contribution to give, I challenge everyone to shake off their limitations and throw themselves headfirst into their passion, or to own their awesome.   I am out to do something that matters – to leave a legacy of positive action.  I am driven to shock people into their own awesomeness!