I loooooove the synchronicities of life. 🤩
The other day, I had a conversation with someone about writing a post regarding the audacity of discussing someone else’s weight. And voilà, a memory popped up on Facebook showing me this picture:
I guess the photo says it all…
But there’s more to it:
I’m genuinely curious: what leads someone to believe they ever have the RIGHT to ask about another person’s weight or discuss it openly?
Who granted them that authority?
Really? Who told them: yes, go ahead, make that person feel ashamed or praise them for how much they weigh.
What makes them think commenting on another person’s body is a) a good idea, b) polite, respectful or appropriate in any way, and c) any of their business?
What motivates them to believe that commenting on someone’s weight loss or gain is ever the right thing to do?
And I know the answer, of course.
It’s what we do. It’s how we’ve been raised. It’s what we look for (I don’t, BTW). It’s just “small talk.”
And I would looooove to challenge that because…
someone’s weight is the least interesting thing about a person.
We are smarter, deeper, more creative, more inventive, and more thoughtful than that.
We are BETTER than that.
We do not need weight as the scapegoat for a conversation. We do not need weight as a focus or a “safe” space to go to when everything else has been said. AND we should no longer consider weight to be an interesting type of topic.
Ever.
Why?
Because this “small talk” destroys lives, souls, families, and communities.
Because this “small talk” creates more and more and more eating disorders (how in the world can the number still RISE???).
Because this “small talk” can trigger episodes of bingeing and purging, dieting, overexercising, and hateful comments about one’s body.
The most disturbing thing is that we as a society are so focused on weight that random strangers track the weight of other random strangers and can recite their weight changes over time.
It blows my mind.
It hurts my soul.
And it makes me oh so angry that we STILLLLLL haven’t learned.
When will it be enough?
The moment all pre-teens have deadly eating disorders?
The moment all (and not “only” 90%) women hate their bodies and feel incredibly ashamed to look the way they do?
The moment no woman wears any T-shirts or shorts fearing their “friends” judgment and comments?
When will it be enough?
It never will be unless you stop looking for signs of weight loss or gain in other people.
It never will be unless you stop believing that you have the RIGHT to ask someone about their weight or comment on it.
It never will be unless you stop comparing your body with someone else’s.
It never will be unless you and I and we shut the f**k up about this so incredibly unimportant part of our BEING.
I have written hundreds of articles, tens of thousands of words about this topic over the last 13 years. I thought I was done, but I never will be, can’t be until this stupid (and yes it’s stupid and trivial and dumb) obsession over other people’s weight STOPS.
Because only then will the next generation have a chance to develop a healthy relationship with food and their bodies.
Because only then will THIS generation have the chance to heal their incredibly toxic relationship with food and their bodies.
Because only when women stop hating on other women’s bodies (and don’t kid yourself: whether you praise other women for losing weight or judge them for gaining weight; you are hating on them) will there be more peace within each one of us, which will create more peace in the world as a whole.
So, again, who gave you the authority to comment on another person’s body?
