Confession!
I haven’t been journaling.
Like at all.
For at least 2 months.
My journal is open, right next to me, but there are no words than want to come out, no thoughts that want to be spilled on those beautiful pages.
Or maybe there’s just a huge barrier in my mind, scared of what might come out, scared of what I might have to say.
That’s unusual, this fear.
This feeling of discomfort.
Almost a knowledge that there’s a bubble that’s going to burst once I put my pen to paper.
It’s almost funny how much I resist what used to be my safe haven.
And my go-to tool to grow in massive leaps and bounds.
I notice that I haven’t expressed myself to myself.
I notice it in every area of my life.
I feel slightly disconnected from my body.
I feel like I’m not myself (more about that later – because that doesn’t have to be a bad thing).
I notice it in my income.
I notice it in my conversations.
I notice it –
AND I also notice something different.
I’ve been more focused on the “outside” world, re-building some parts of my life that have been lost/put to rest the moment I stepped into my awful dieting world.
I’ve been more active, engaging more with people close to me.
Those people that have always felt superior to me –
like they were better than I could ever be –
better parents (because they were a couple)
more confident people (because they could have a conversation without being nervous)
better human beings (because I was bad – inherently).
Although I’ve long ago begun to notice that I am not as bad as I was told, there was still a part of me that thought I couldn’t be accepted here. In Germany. Being the person that I am.
The one who believes in something “out there”. The one who is a coach. The one who doesn’t have a “real” job. The one who didn’t make it through university and instead chose to create podcasts and write books. The one who is just odd.
I had all these judgments about people here in Germany thinking I was weird, silly, simply not good enough.
And maybe they do. Maybe they don’t.
It doesn’t matter. All that matters is how I see myself.
And the way I see myself is that I am a super qualified coach with more training than I could’ve ever dreamt of. The way I see myself is that I am allowed to be a part of people’s transformation and see them blossom in ways THEY would’ve never believed. The way I see myself is that I am a capable and super loving mom who will do anything for her child.
The way I see myself is that I am determined, fun, caring and a super hard worker.
The way I see myself is that I am ME – not THEM.
I never believed that I had anything to contribute to the “real” world here. But I do. And I will.
So even though I haven’t been journaling, A LOT has happened.
A LOT has transformed inside and on the outside.
I am not the person I was a month ago.
I have shed more layers of beliefs that I didn’t even realize I had.
I have stepped into myself even more…
… and it feels GREAT.
Now I am ready to begin journaling again.
I am ready to express my thoughts again in the most intimate way I know.
I am ready to call in more of the goodness that I have created in the past.
We go through so many transformations in a year, a month, sometimes even a day.
We grow, we adapt, we burst out of boxes that others have created for us.
We go through so much and while it is great to have go-to tools, sometimes you have to shake things up.
Like I did when I went to a training that completely changed my neurology in 8 days.
I had no idea what to expect, but I went for it because I knew I was stuck in a belief pattern that made me run in circles and choose people who were betraying me in ways it’s hard to describe.
I had no idea how I would change or if I would change but I knew I wanted to.
What have you been resisting? What have you been not doing because of old stories? Because of old limiting decisions?
What have you been pushing off because you felt you weren’t ready?
And how are you going to shake things up?
Are you ready to truly release the beliefs, the decisions that have been keeping you stuck, in pain, in fear and far from the person you were meant to be?
Are you ready to embrace yourself on the deepest level?
Are you ready to make peace with food, your body and yourself? Like truly, really, no doubts about your self-worth and wholeness?
Visit meetme.so/Anne-SophieReinhardt and choose a time for us to talk.
Don’t wait until the New Year, don’t wait until it “feels” right, don’t wait until the stars align. They never will.
Take a leap and let’s chat. Your life is waiting for you.
<3
