You’re fed up with how you relate to food and your body and
you just know
that you know
that you must do something
anything
to stop hurting
being in so much terror
all day
every day
and you want to
you really do
but in the everyday life
the daily actions
you cannot
don’t want
to act differently.
You’re always hungry
always thinking about food
always yearning to eat
and you love food
you really do
but you can’t allow yourself to eat.
Not yet.
You’re waiting.
Just a bit more.
Just a few more days.
A few more weeks maybe.
Because then
yes then
you’ll be ready to heal.
Right now,
you want to,
yes, you really do,
but you don’t want to heal.
Not really.
Or do you?
You’re confused.
And frustrated.
You’re tired of this.
You’re fed up with this life that isn’t really a life at all.
You’re so ready to break out of this cycle.
But you’re not.
Not really.
Or are you?
The thing is that it’s really normal to be scared,
to not feel great about leaving your identity as a person with certain eating habits/a certain body behind.
It’s really normal to want to continue doing what you’ve done for so long
even if it ruins your life
even if you’re hurting so much.
It’s really normal to not want to shake the boat
even if you’re yearning to fall into the water and
let the current of life carry you.
We are, after all, creatures of habit.
We are, after all, conditioned to want to look a certain way.
We are, after all, being rewarded for staying sick and in pain.
Yet, there are so many unsung songs that stay stuck in your throat because of your willingness to suffer.
There are so many unheard melodies that stay mute because of your decision to remain in pain yet another day.
There are so many unwritten lyrics that the world loses out on because of your tight grip on your eating disordered behavior.
The saddest part of all of this is that you are so allowed to be free.
You are allowed to stop waiting.
You are allowed to just eat instead of trying to earn your food and waiting for dinner to satisfy your hour-long hunger pangs.
You’re allowed to feel again, to feel the joys of life and the disappointments that come along every once in a while.
You’re not just allowed – who should give you that permission anyway? – you are capable of re-experiencing life to the fullest again.
You are capable of making the decision to heal and stick with it, even through the times of discomfort and pain – which is just a different version of the pain that you’re feeling right now, isn’t it?
You’re capable of accepting that recovery comes with ups and downs.
You’re capable to live through those ups and downs and of feeling the hope that one day, you will be free again.
Because you can be free again.
There is always hope, there is.
And you know there is – otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this post.
Otherwise you wouldn’t have looked for new ways out.
Otherwise you would just stick your head in the sand – that head that is so full of wonder and brilliance – never coming back up for air.
You are here because you know
that you know
that you know
that there is a better life ahead.
And even if you don’t know what this life will look like,
you are ready to move towards living it.
You’re ready to sing your songs, to unleash your melodies, to write those lyrics in order to not waste another day in diet hell.
You’re ready to turn your life upside down and get to the core of who you are without all the nonsense that you think defines you but that has really no value at all.
You’re ready to cling to hope and take action.
Yeah, so maybe a part of you doesn’t want to heal.
And guess what, that part can screw itself.
No, really, it can.
It can shut the f**k up and continue to be all sad and insecure.
The other part of you – the wiser, happier, healthy part of you – is ready to take over, travel the world without dread, go out with friends without fear of food, be in a relationship without your weight being the most important part of it.
That part of you that holds the universe within wants to heal, it has an unmet desire to live, to explore, to beam with joy.
All you have to do is open the door and give that part a little kick, maybe gently, maybe with force – whatever you believe you need.
All you have to do is allow it to be different for a while.
All you have to do is be willing to do the work – the real work – and leave the past in the past knowing that the pain you’re holding onto right now is no longer needed, is no longer giving you what it once gave to you.
All you have to do is trust and allow the part of you that wants to be free to soar.
So, yes, you’re fed up with how you relate to food and your body and you know
you just know
that you know
that you will do something
anything
to stop hurting
being in so much terror
all day
every day
and you will do it
you absolutely know
with more certainty than ever before
that you will!
There’s not a shadow of a doubt that your everyday life
your daily actions
will change.
You’ll stop always being hungry
and you’ll allow yourself to eat.
You’re no longer willing to wait.
You will heal
right now.
You may still be confused.
But you’re so ready to break out of this half-life.
And you’re doing it.
You are actually doing it.
Stepping out of diet hell, finding infinity in yourself,
singing, humming, writing your life’s story in your favorite colors and most exciting feelings.
You. Are. Doing. It.
Holy F**k.
How cool is that?
How cool are YOU?
Of course, I never doubted it.
And neither did you.
Not really.
You knew.
Oh, how you knew.
Because, well, you’re YOU.
And you want to heal, yes you do. <3
It’s time to stop hurting and start creating FREEDOM.
You have what it takes to turn this around.
You have what it takes to let go of needing to be in pain and playing small.
I see it in your eyes.
I see it in your heart.
I see it in your every move and every word.
You are the one you were always meant to be –
just covered by fear and shame –
and the wrong belief that being thin will instantly ease all your pain and allow you to create a life of rainbows and unicorns.
It’s time to leave that behind.
It’s time to unleash the superwoman that’s inside.
Not overnight.
But by strategically going through the steps to allowing your core to shine.
I’m here to help. <3
