Slightly embarrassing confession: I’m addicted to Grey’s Anatomy.
I’ve loved this show since the very beginning and – like Lost – it was my safe haven in the darkest storms of my depression. I was in love with McDreamy – oh, so in love – and the Meredith-Derek-and what was the vet’s name?-triangle kept me glued to the TV.
In fact, it was because of Grey’s Anatomy and Shando Rhimes that I discovered podcasts (Phone!), Cliff and Stephanie Ravenscraft and the rest is history.
I stuck with this series for 9 seasons and 190 episodes, some better, some worse. I sobbed, I cheered, I laughed hysterically, I sympathized, I scratched my head and rolled my eyes and never missed an episode. I’m certain, I’ll watch it until the end.
What does any of this have to do with body-love?
A lot.
In the series’ 190 episodes, I don’t remember the issue of “feeling fat”, “being fat”, “feeling unworthy because of my cellulite”, “feeling ugly because of my butt”, “being unqualified of being a surgeon because of my shape”, come up once.
Not a single time.
It’s curious, isn’t it? Most of the main cast is female and if it were up to folks like Karl Lagerfeld, you’d think that all they should be concerned about is their appearance.
Aren’t they supposed to talk about their weight all day long? Shouldn’t they all be on diets and survive on 600 calories? Shouldn’t they be ashamed because they don’t all wear Size Zeros.
Victoria’s Secret, Donatella Versace and other beauty dictators would probably say so. But, thankfully, they don’t write this show and so, we can tune in to a completely different “reality” every week.
A fictional reality that is somewhat closer to real life than most TV shows out there. Grey’s Anatomy can help you love your body and yourself more than you do today. Let’s take a closer look.
1. The diverse background of the cast.
The cast of Grey’s Anatomy is somewhat on par with the cast of Lost when it comes to its diversity, which is something you still – unfortunately – do not see as often as you should.
There’s Christina, who’s Asian, there’s Meredith, American, there’s Callie, Mexican and Miranda, African American.
Different heritages, but not different levels of worthiness and beauty. I’ve never heard an argument like: “Hey, I get to do this surgery because I’m black…”.
Just a little something to think about.
2. The bodies and looks.
You see every body shape: from short to tall, from skinny to curvy, from black to white. There are big noses, small noses, long legs, short legs, learn arms, full lips, blue eyes, brown eyes, black straight hair and blond curls.
They all look different (who’d have figured?!), but they all perform on the same playing field. Looks don’t determine who gets to operate, who gets to have the cool surgeries or who gets the promotion. Their advancing in their field has to do with skill, competence and hard work; not looks, weight and lipstick.
3. The dialogues.
The characters never engage in “fat talk”.
Seriously, I’ve watched these episodes intensely over the years, but I’ve never noticed them doing the fat talk. All they chat about is, gasp!, medicine; and OK, yes, they do mention sex a lot too.
But they never discuss the way they look when they open up a patient in surgery or how much they’ve eaten and how “bad” they are for doing so. They don’t gossip about the shapes of their co-workers or the cellulite of their patients.
They don’t talk about diets or losing weight and they sure as heck don’t question their abilities to save lives because they’ve eaten a few muffins “too many” last night.
They know it doesn’t matter and they realize life is about so much more than that.
4. The message.
Sex aside, I think the most important message of Grey’s is that women can go after any career they want – no matter their race or looks.
Women can be incredibly powerful and excellent neonatal surgeons. They can be compassionate, caring, crazy, neurotic, sweet, reliable, strong, risk-takers, problem-solvers, ridiculously competitive, go-getters, ambitious and so much more.
They – we – can be so much more than our bodies. We can be real PEOPLE who belong, who impact lives, who are self-confident and who make our dreams come true. [Click to Tweet]
Disappearances happen. Pains go phantom. Blood stops running and people, people fade away. There’s more I have to say, so much more, but… I disappeared.
Meredith Grey, 3×16
Don’t let your body make you fade away. Don’t let your voice disappear because your body doesn’t fit into a ridiculously small box of a mostly unachievable frame of beauty.
Instead, look at Grey’s example, open your eyes and see that your true value and worth lingers underneath your skin.
On to you: Do you watch Grey’s? What’s your favorite episode? Do you agree with what I’ve written or do you think this is complete BS?
As I’m engaging in the recovery process, I am more and more aware of the many messages society and media throw at us all the time. I often think I must be a little annoying these days b/c I keep viewing everything as a political or societal “statement”. A rose can never just be a rose, you know? 🙂
But, annoying or not, that’s where I’m at so I love to hear about shows and media that are doing things right. How nice to be able to watch a show where women’s bodies are not seen as their primary means of expressing who they are. I think I’ll have to tune in this week…
Love, I don’t think you’re annoying, I think you’re starting to see the world as it is. Truth is that women are made to be seen as objects and we it’s time more of us realize just that. So, more power to you! It’s rare that there are shows that actually empower women instead of tearing them down. So, yes, you may want to tune in, but – just to warn you – the show is not nearly as good as it was seven or eight years ago. 🙂
My wife Louise is a Grey’s Anatomy buff but I’m afraid I can’t add any more substance than that Anne-Sophie ’cause it’s not a show I got in to. I did enjoy the way that you integrated the whole thing though … good for you.
Be good to yourself
David
Life Coach. Listener. Life Lover.
Well, I’d love to hear Louise’s opinion on that, David. 🙂 I’d be curious to see if she agrees or if she thinks I’m way off with my observations. Thanks for stopping by and commenting though.
I used to watch it while the rest of my family watched (the boys) watched “Breaking Bad”. I did like the show a lot. But I got tired of the “soap opera” part of it. But I did think they did a great job at portraying women.
Yes, it has gotten very soapish (just made up a word, did I?) after the first few seasons, but I guess that that’s where the money and the viewership is. However, the message of women empowerment still rings true in its 9th season and I love that about the show. Women are not victims of guys and don’t wait for mister perfect to live their lives.
I enjoyed the show for several seasons as well, but then found a few other shows I liked. I don’t watch that much TV. They did a great job with the characters and it has been a big hit for quite a while, so the story line has touched many viewers. I agree that it is a great message for women that you can achieve anything you set your mind to, and that your brain is more important than your looks. You can even have fun with your career and fall in love as well. The perfect package, but a good message for women.
The perfect message indeed – who’d have thought we were so versatile? lol
I think I’ve watched 90 some % of the shows. Your message rang true with me. The other piece that Shonda did so well was to create characters that were vulnerable and felt ‘real’. Almost all of my friends think that Glee is hokey BUT Ryan Murphy has done an OUTSTANDING job at recognizing and applauding differences. The one thing he didn’t do well though (unfortunately) was a story line on bulimia (maybe you could help him with that ~). A great post – thank you!
Fran
Fran, I totally agree. The storyline about bulimia was so much more destructive and I think caused a lot of harm since the show is geared towards teens. It’s unfortunate that show runners don’t think twice about what the harm they can do with their shows when it comes to such delicate and life-threatening matters.
I don’t watch the show, but my friends who do have always liked the amount of diversity on the show. I just haven’t had the energy to commit to another “hospital” drama since ER went off the air.
However, I have to say…you mentioned Karl Lagerfeld. I’ve never considered myself a violent person, but I swear that I have to fight back violent urges every time that man opens his mouth.
That last sentence made me punch my fist in the air – totally cheesy, but this guy deserves every violent thought. He’s doing a lot of harm and he’s a crazy old guy, judging people in ways that is destructive and disgusting. So, should you ever meet him, please unleash that violent person you don’t consider yourself to be… 😉