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When Life Gets in the Way

by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt on June 14, 2013

I wish I could tell you that your self-love journey and life will always be a smooth and easy ride.

I wish I could tell you that there won’t be any obstacles, any challenges, any misfortunes and pain.

I wish I could tell you that life never gets in the way of your dreams, your hopes, your happiness and joy.

I wish…

Wait, no.

I don’t.

Because where would be the fun in that? Where would be the opportunity to grow, evolve and change?

Where would be the chance to build self-efficacy and self-trust?

Where would be the road to step into the real you?

While it’s true that you can surely grow tremendously in the good times of life, it’s also true that you grow quicker and maybe even more radical in the bad times, the times that hurt, cut like a knife, crush your dreams or simply limit your hopes.

Don’t get me wrong, bad times suck. Big time. But they’re going to happen; no matter what.

So, why not make the best out of them?

Why not change the way we look at these situations?

Why not turn the bad into something good?

When I lost my jobs because of the visa issues a few months ago, I felt awful. I freaked out about money, taking care of myself and being able to live in the US. However, within a few days, I was able to change the way I thought about this situation and turn this unfortunate situation into a milestone of personal growth.

I’ve used a simple exercise that helped me to transform my perspective and be happy again. 🙂

In today’s edition of Love Yourself Friday, I share a wonderful tool that’ll help you to do the same.

Reframing. Such a transformation tool to use in life and in your self-love journey.

Turning a wrong turn into an interesting one is awesome and it’s also quite fun.

Have you ever reframed a crappy situation? Have you been able to turn around a “fat”-day or a time you experienced low self-esteem? Tell us about it.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one } June 14, 2013 at 3:17 pm

Yes! I think reframing is a huge and important tool. I think it is rather misunderstood. People often think of it as just denying the bad happens but I think an important part is to grieve the bad and then choose to move through the experience in a new way. When you can do this authentically, it can be very powerful.


admin June 18, 2013 at 8:53 pm

Absolutely. It’s not about denying that bad things happen, it’s about working with your experiences and empowering yourself instead of pulling yourself down.


David Stevens June 14, 2013 at 10:36 pm

Reframing is one of the best tools at our disposal Anne-Sophie … delighted that it works for You.
Be good to yourself
Mid Life Coach. Listener. Solution Finder.


admin June 18, 2013 at 8:52 pm

I agree. It’s life-changing and I’m surprised that it’s still not a mainstream thing. Wish more people would use the magic of reframing.


Karen Melick Knapp June 19, 2013 at 10:48 am

Anne… Ha.. turned around a “fat day” or had low self esteem… are you kidding me?? just yesterday, the day of my daughters graduation party. I had worked my tail off for days leading up to this, had barely slept because my body hasn’t been letting me. Stress of the party itself, seeing relatives i haven’t seen in years ( that means way way before i got sick), trying to make things “perfect” for a daughter who probably doesn’t really care- yet would complain anyway, just because she can! And the morning of, i wake at 4a, with pounding headache, and then my menstrual cycle starts to add to the fun, then at 5am, i realize that i forgot the day before to get the meat of the freezer. by Nine 9 am my hormones were taking over, I was melting down, I had already gotten on the scale, something i know full well you never do before your period starts or the day it does… you just dont. what i was thinking, i have no idea. Torturing myself i guess, or maybe it was the lack of sleep i had had for many days in a row. But either way, I was in a heap on the floor, feeling low, fat and rethinking the pretty dress my mother in law had bought me for the party… the dress that my husband LOVED on me. That I really liked on ME! and i do not like dresses at all. I was losing it, fast and all over a few lbs and to everyone else in the whole world they probably wouldn’t be able to tell… but i knew. So i told myself over in my head that any number in my “range” wasn’t fat. that i was OKAY. I WAS OKAY. i did downward dog and held it for as long as i could so i would feel strong and in control…. then relaxed and then did it over and over. then i texted my therapist and told her.. she texted me back. and then i chilled out. between my thoughts i put on repeat in my head and my moves to take control to feel strong, to take control… i managed to not let it completely destroy me on a day where i couldn’t afford to lose it. but numbers can do that… feelings can do that. but i am getting better at “turning the song around in my head” before my therapist even gets back to me. doing it on my own… flipping the switch. One day, i will look at the number and when i fluxes i will not even flinch because it is just a normal thing… it will go back down and my mind will know this and not respond in the fight or flight response mode… like it does now… so for now, i am getting better … ha, I AM GETTING BETTER> 🙂


Anne-Sophie June 19, 2013 at 5:42 pm

That is reframing at it’s best, baby! And yes, YOU ARE getting better.


Karen Melick Knapp June 20, 2013 at 12:45 pm

had to come back on here….I thought because it was day three of my cycle, the scale would have went down… so I weighed myself… it went up… again!!! I fell on the floor crying hard…. the last three days… all this week, I haven’t been in my normal routine … my regular life of things… I haven’t counted.. too much going on with people here, taking us out for meals at places where there is no way to look up counts for and then at the party just nibbling… and being on my feet… I have been off. and then yesterday we were in amish country all day and again at a restaurant. UGH… even though I picked good things.. I am sure it was sodium filled compared to if we fixed them at home.. since it was warm I got chicken salad, but didn’t eat the rye bread, as I didn’t like it. and I got broccoli soup. it was good. and we walked around for HOURS AND HOURS>>>>> so I thought I was good… and I drank lots all day. and I ate dinner at home. … but the stupid scale still went up and it broke me… i lost it…. to the stupid freaking scale… i am close to the number i hate.. the number where i pretty much stop eating at. And that worries me. there is a very fine line in then numbers.. it isn’t like its a huge number between where things shift… it isn’t… its a small window… and it is that small window where my body image also shifted to where i went from seeing a distorted view that i tried to kill all the time… at the one weight..the one i am getting close to… and when my weight went lower by a few small pounds, my body images shifted and i saw for the first time in so many decades a different person and i didn’t want to kill that person and i cried because i couldn’t believe what i saw was me. and i don’t want to get to that other weight… i don’t want that shift to come back.


Anne-Sophie June 21, 2013 at 5:04 pm

Just holding space for you. Love you.


Jodi Lobozzo Aman June 21, 2013 at 11:56 am

I do it all of the time! when we acknowledge and allow our pain with out judgment and see what else it could mean, this is so helpful. Great video!


Anne-Sophie June 21, 2013 at 5:03 pm

It really is helpful and changes every situation. Thrilled to hear that you’re using this already, Jodi. Much love.


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