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Has your partner ever told you – blatantly or indirectly – that he thinks you’re fat, or made cruel remarks about your physique? Unfortunately, I’ve been there.

My ex would endlessly comment on my weight and how “deformed” my butt looked – painful words that left me feeling inferior in a destructive relationship for far too long.

However, with time came strength; eventually I was able to stand up for myself and get out of the dysfunctional cycle.

While these were some dark years, this relationship taught me a lot about how to feel comfortable with yourself and your body even when your partner doesn’t.

Check out today’s edition of Love Yourself Friday to learn how you can take care of yourself and your self-esteem in a relationship that is abusive.

Check in with yourself

How are you truly feeling now that he said that? How has your view of your body changed – if at all? Honor your feelings as much as you can and don’t push them aside.

Seek a clarifying conversation

Maybe it was just a misunderstanding? A stupid joke? Or maybe there’s something deeper? Tell your partner that this comment  was unkind and hurt you and that you’d appreciate if your relationship were based on different values.

You might be surprised at the outcome of this conversation.

Take a time out

Go to a spa, spend a weekend with a girlfriend or simply go for a walk to nurture the true values of life.

Focus on body-acceptance work

Negative comments about your weight, body or shape from someone you love and care about really sting. It’s super important than to continuously focus on doing body-love work. Journal, wear what you want, meditate, check in with your body etc. in order to love yourself up and nourish your self-esteem again.

Ask yourself: Is this really worth it?

When comments like “you’re fat” or “you’ve gained a lot of weight” or “I don’t like the way you look” become more and more frequent, it’s time to make a decision. Is this relationship really working? Does it cause you more harm than good? If this is causing you deep pain, then it might be best to go.

Know that you are BEAUTIFUL – no matter what

No matter what your boyfriend or partner says, remind yourself that you are beautiful – on the inside and out.

Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner verbally abused you? If so, how did you handle it? share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Love and light,

Anne-Sophie

 

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