When you feel afraid, know that you’re onto something. If you have a big dream, fear will always want to talk you out of it. Unless you’re in physical danger, you don’t need fear hanging around.

Conversations with fear

Go ahead and hear fear out. Listen. Then talk back. Put fear in its place by writing out your conversation on paper. Tell fear to back off. Remind fear of your value. Share with fear how important your plans are and that you have no time to waste.

Unless something that is really dangerous comes up, tell fear, “This toxic relationship is over!”

Fear loses its power when it sees the light of day. You gain yours. When you face your fear, you increase your courage and confidence. It’s then possible to take the actionable steps required for your desired outcome.

I’ve not been taking fears advice for some time now. When fear says, “No.”  I say “Go.”

Our conversations have been going something like this:

I want to spend a weekend in Chicago. Fear says, “You can’t go, stay home and work hard, no break for you.” I schedule a flight, rent a car, and spend the weekend in Chicago.

Outcome: Summer in the city. Good food and lots of fun.

I’m going to a party. I want to take something healthy to eat. Fear says, “Fill up on bad food. This is a party. It’s no big deal. Again, this is a party!” I shop the Farmer’s Market, purchase healthy food and bring a dish to share.

Outcome: Raves and healthy food for everyone.

I’m upset over my neighbor’s dog barking. Fear say, “Confront your neighbor; you have a right to be angry.” I stop focusing on the dogs when I’m in the backyard. I stop telling myself the same angry story. I let it go.

Outcome: I’m not sure if the dog barks less or it doesn’t bother me anymore. I feel peaceful. This is big!

I need to work out today but I don’t feel like it. Fear says, “Don’t exercise. It’s okay to be lazy and moody. You can do it tomorrow.” I go for a two hour hike and an afternoon swim.

Outcome: I feel refreshed and energized.

I’m mad at one of my girlfriends. I want to get over it. Fear says, “Call Cherie today. She has all the gossip. Cherie will fill you in and take your side.” I take a walk, center myself and decide stay in the moment. I stay out of the pain of the past.

Outcome: I am at peace.

I want to write guest articles on other blogs. Fear says, “Don’t bother to ask. People are too busy to help you.” I send out ten emails to other bloggers and inquire about writing guest posts.

Outcome: Ten bloggers say yes. I write ten guest posts

I want to start a big project and help others live a more fearless life. Fear says, “that times are tough; people aren’t spending money. Your project won’t work.”  I create an outline and plan for a new monthly group for fearless people.

Outcome: I’m holding my vision, finishing the project and will launch it soon.

I want to ask my coaching clients to recommend me to their friends. Fear says, “Don’t speak up. You’ll embarrass yourself. You don’t need any help.” I have a conversation with three former clients and ask if they will recommend me to others.

Outcome: This month I have three new clients.

I’m attending the World Domination Summit in July and I want to invite some new friends to a private dinner. Fear says, “You’re not important enough. They don’t have time for you. They’ll say no; you’ll feel bad.”  I ask two people anyway.

Outcome: They both say yes!

Life can be difficult but it doesn’t have to be struggle. When you can act in spite of your fear, life flows, your energy increases and synchronicity happens. You’ve taken back your power!

If you need support and guidance to follow your dream or live your best life, check out my course, “30 Days of Bold.” You learn how to make the impossible possible. You’ll go on to do great things.

Tess Marshall is the founder of The Bold Life, where she blogs and inspires people to do great things. Enrollment is now open for “30 Days of Bold.