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Being big (meaning you are bigger than a size 2) doesn’t mean you are not a whole person.
It doesn’t mean you are bad.
Unworthy.
Not good enough.
Being big doesn’t mean you need help living your life.
It doesn’t mean you are a moral failure.
A person of second class.
Yes, you’re being treated that way.
Yes, many people who are blindly following the current craze around diet and weight loss may view you that way.
Yes, everyone and their mom tells you you are.
But it is NOT true.
I hope you hear that.
I hope you know that.
I hope you trust
that you are inherently whole.
that you are a masterpiece with chinks just like everyone else.
that you are a force to be reckoned with –
if only
if only
IF only
you allowed yourself to be
YOU.
Fully
wholly
completely
YOU.
Embracing your uniqueness
Loving your curves
Treating yourself with the respect you deserve.
There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself.
And it doesn’t have to be linked to diet and weight loss.
You can treat yourself with respect
no matter your weight.
AND – to say it for the millionth time –
you do not need “their” approval
to be who you’ve always wanted to be.
To treat yourself the way you’ve always wanted to be treated.
To show your skin some love
and your body all the respect
she deserves.
And gives you.
You see,
your body is working HARD
HARD
HARD
fucking HARD
for you
every day
in every single way.
And just because the world has decided that your body is not worthy of their respect
doesn’t mean that you have to start listening to them
and stop listening to her.
Treating her the way she has been deserving all along.
As she is your best friend
your closest ally
your partner in crime.
Instead of feeding her crap
beating her up
hating on her every second of every day
begin to check in with our her
asking her
what she needs
what she wants
how she needs to be treated
cared for
and loved.
And then, remember,
that you are not un-whole
that the goal is not to lose weight
that yo-yo dieting is what is hurting your body the most
but that you can feel well
that you deserve to feel like a million bucks
and that your body deserves to thrive.
The way she is now
and the way she may be tomorrow.
You can’t fail at loving your body.
You can’t fail at treating her right.
You can’t forever ignore your heart’s tugging at showing up for yourself-
for your life.
Not by dieting.
Not by shaming.
Not by hating.
Not by listening to them.
Or learning from their way of seeing you.
But by going inward
turning toward yourself
instead of always turning away.
There is a basic human respect –
a level of self-respect most of us lack –
that derives from showing up for ourselves in all ways.
May that be with kind words
Loving actions
or a little tough love.
May that be by going from a place of lack to abundance
By no longer listening to other people’s BS
or finally – finally –
FINALLY
standing up for yourself the way you’ve always wanted to.
This respect –
which is slumbering deep inside –
needs to be reawakened
for you
to see
that
you are whole.
Always have been
always will be
never not somewhere that wasn’t on the scale.
It’s sad
heartbreaking
that most of us grow up believing anything but
the fact
that we are whole beings.
That, yes,
there’s always room for more love
improvement
hard work
but that this doesn’t reflect our true core.
Who we are
and always have been.
There’s no magic in being yourself.
There’s no magic in respect yourself.
There’s no magic in finally seeing that society doesn’t always have it right.
And that you
no matter how big or thin you are
are not a wrong being.
That you
no matter your lifestyle
are not un-whole.
There’s no magic in all of this:
just a different approach to life
to looking at yourself
to truly understanding yourself
Maybe for the first time in all of time.
There’s no magic,
but I tell you this:
It’s quite magical to stop wanting to make your body wrong.
It’s quite magical to wake up and think of what you can do with your day instead of how much you weight.
It’s quite magical to eat what you want when you want without fear, shame, guilt or the need to stuff yourself until you’re sick.
It’s quite magical to live a life far, far away from the way we’re supposed to exist:
In misery
because our bodies don’t fit in with our current
limited
restriction-based
sick
Beauty ideal.
You are not un-whole.
No matter your shape
your size
your struggles
and your joys.
You are not un-whole.
Remember?
***
So, you have been overeating for years, have tried everything, but you just cannot stop behaving the way you do.
You consider yourself to be very bright, educated person but somehow you are just not strong enough to stop eating fifteen cookies all at once.
You’re about to go on a beautiful vacation, but you can’t even begin to imagine wearing a bathing suit or even trying new foods because of the shame you experience around your body and the way you do food.
Well, my love, it is time then to overcome overeating once and for all.
