When you've gained weight…

Sunset chaserI know that every cell of your body and mind is screaming for relief.

I know that you are terrified that this will never end.

I know that you believe that going on a diet is the only reasonable thing to do.

And it even feels like a great idea, right?

At least you’ll stop this weight gain.

At least you’ll stop being out of control.

You’ll stop the pain, the fear, the shame.

I know it feels like the only thing to do, but it is not.

Instead, another diet will only perpetuate the circle. It’ll lead to quick weight loss, followed by quick weight gain and those same feelings of defeat.

And even more: you’ll feel crappy, will deny yourself social gatherings, will change your life to conform to your diet.

You’ll be in a horrible mood, will lash out at others, will be frustrated. Again.

I know that gaining weight feels like the end of the world, the confirmation that you’ve been looking for that a life without “restraint”, without “rules“, without “following a plan” is the only way for you to not gain weight endlessly.

But again, it is not.

Please, hear me when I tell you that it is not.

A diet is never ever the way out.

If it was, you’d have succeeded. You don’t lack willpower. You don’t lack discipline.

You may lack a little self-love.

And the belief that living a life without diets is the only way to regain your freedom around food, with a body that is in balance – whatever that means for your specific situation and body.

But how do you do that?

How do you stop believing that diets are the only thing that will “save” you?

First, you stop believing that you only have the right to love, to be, to exist if your body looks a certain weight.

Then, you begin to do the work that you’ve been avoiding. You go inward. You begin to surrender to what isn’t working. Begin to feel your feelings, face your biggest fears. Heal that.

Sure, that is a longer process than quickly losing 10 pounds – and feeling MISERABLE while doing so – and yes, it’s harder than losing weight real quick, but it’s the only way. The only way.

Do you really want to run in circles all of your life? Getting more and more desperate?

Lose the weight.

Binge on candy.

Lose the weight.

Binge on candy.

Lose the weight.

Binge on candy.

And destroying your natural relationship with food one diet at a time? Do you really want to live like that?

Because – I am sorry to say that – that is what will happen.

You will have to change your life, who you are as an eater, not google “How to lose weight” at 3am in the morning.

You will have to face what you don’t want to face and change what you know you have to change, but don’t want to.

But is the pain of the weight loss – weight gain rollercoaster really worth the continued denial? The continued “If I shut my eyes real tight I won’t know what I already know”?

Healing your INSIDE isn’t as predictable as losing weight. Healing your INSIDE isn’t as instantly rewarding as losing weight. Healing your INSIDE won’t show the world that, look, I’ve lost weight. Not right away. You may lose weight when healing what your eating stands for, what your eating does for you – or you may not.

I have no freaking idea. Your body does.

Do you allow your body to communicate with you?

Or are you constantly overwriting what your body tells you loud and clear? Are you constantly allowing your mind to overrule your body’s signals – whether that is when you eat until you cannot breathe or you don’t eat at all?

Is that happiness?

Or isn’t happiness not thinking about food every second of every day?

Isn’t happiness just eating when you’re hungry and sometimes because you just want something – without guilt, fear of losing control or shame?

Isn’t happiness worth fighting for? Giving up your beliefs, your diet religion, your extreme fears that doing something you haven’t done before is going to make you blow up?

As if the path you’ve chosen were any better?

Isn’t freedom worth the leap of faith?

So what if it lasts longer than you expected?

So what if you “mindful eating” won’t make you lose the weight like some “health coaches” tell you?

So what if you hit one roadblock after another?

So what?

I know you can face those just as much as you can start your 300th diet.

I know you’ve got it in you.

But I also know that you are choosing the easier road right now.

By going on a diet.

It won’t work. I’m sorry to say. Unsubscribe, hit unlike, yell at me all you want.

It won’t work.

You’ll have to heal first.

Then, maybe, just maybe, the weight will fall of. But – you know what – that won’t even matter – and doesn’t matter (ask science) – because you’ll feel great. You’ll be in love with life. You’ll be free from your strings; the strings that cause you so much pain right now. You’ll be in balance with food – your very own, self-created way of doing balance around food. And your weight will just be your weight.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

If you’ve just started a new diet, stop. Stop and check in with your body. With that “thing” that is hanging below your neck. That “thing” that enables you to live, to walk, to feel, to hold, to digest, to make love, to drive your car, to give birth to children, to enjoy this beautiful life.

When have you felt your body for the last time? Not looked at it but felt it?

When have you last become aware of it? Does it feel pain? Does it feel happiness? Does it feel nothing?

Do you know?

That is your first task on the road to a diet-less life. That is the first step you need to stop avoiding.

Stop defining yourself by what you see in the mirror and instead check in with the skin you’re in. Make your body your best friend again, recognize it for the ally that it is. The only partner that truly is with you from the day you’re born until the last breath you take on this planet.

Do what you have to do to escape this diet, do it now. Do it for your body. Do it for your life.

Listen to the beat of your heart for just a second and then tell me that putting this body through another heartless diet is really the way to live your life.

You’re my favorite prison breaker.

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