being hated for who you are

Found on despacitoyconbuenaletra.tumblr.com

Let’s be real: just like not everyone in this world is going to think you’re beautiful, not everyone on this planet is going to like you.

There’ll be lots of people who love you, there’ll be people who won’t care about you, and there’ll also be people who downright hate you – just because you are you.

Now, for most of you, this might never happen, which is ah-mazing.

But I’m certain that for some of you it has happened, is happening or will happen in the future.

And. It. Hurts. Like. Hell.

Being hated when you’re doing something wrong, well, I might get behind that. When you break up with someone, cheat on them, break their heart, make them go bankrupt or do anything else that devastates them deeply, yes, sure, those are reasons for resentment, aversion, hostility.

But coming to this earth as an innocent, beautiful, pure human being and being hated from day 1. That’s almost unbearable.

And that’s my story.

That’s the beginning of my struggle. The beginning of my insecurities. The beginning of everything.

Today, after almost 28 years of living with this knowledge – and having accumulated plenty of hatred in the past myself -, I’ve learned to live with it; until I am head-on confronted with it.

And then – BAM- it’s all there again. I’ve written about it before. I’ll write about it again.

Here’s the thing: you can’t change the other person. You can’t ever understand their motives. You can’t ever really figure out the WHY.

And you don’t have to.

We’re all given a task to handle in our lifetime and this – the hate you have to endure from another person – might be yours.

The question then is: how can you rise and grow because of that situation? How can you be true to yourself knowing that there is this one person out there judging your every move? How can you deal with the constant let-downs and calculated, offending moves? How can you detox your own thoughts and soul instead of going to that dark spot the other person surely lives in?

You go to the place where it hurts.

You don’t “deal” with it.

But you “feel” with it.

You acknowledge that even after decades you’re still wounded to the core. You accept that the unbearable is real. You grieve for your life, your past, your inner child, all parts that have been hurt so deeply. You don’t put on a brave face, but you let your emotions fill you up, overcome you and then clean all that’s left inside.

You do it all over and over and over again. Until one day – and it might be the last of your life – it might not feel so very painful anymore.

I know that this is easier said than done, but it’s the only way to ever life your life and stop searching the fault in your own personality, in who you are. If you don’t feel your emotions, your disappointment, your fear and sadness, you’ll begin to “cope” and you’ll likely cope by obsessing over or even abusing your body, food, people, drugs, money or whatever else is left to focus on.

If you cope, you’ll only create more pain.

In the end, you have to know that the other person’s hate, their feelings are not about you. They’re all about them. They’re all about their insecurities, their failures, their own flaws.

You are just a mirror of their own empty soul.

So let the hate touch you, even if it crushes you at times. Even if it burns you, you’ll rise from the ashes a million times stronger than the other person will ever be.

Don’t engage. Be yourself.

And remember that you are loved. Just not by that one person.

Pin It on Pinterest