I believe that feeling at home in your body is a can’t-miss element for every single person on this planet.

I believe that feeling at peace with your body is every person’s innate right.

I believe that if you feel icky inside your skin, ugly underneath your clothes or frustrated with your weight, you’ll never be free, happy and leaping to your full potential.

I also believe that most of us can’t even remember the last time we truly felt at home in our bodies.

And how could we?

We live in a world where thinness is equated with beauty, wealth, happiness and self-control. We are constantly bombarded with photoshopped and completely unrealistic pictures of women that brainwash us into hating our bodies more and more every second of every day.

And so, we disconnect.

We live with a body instead of in our bodies. We go on crazy diets and binge until we can’t move anymore. We lose our identity and the connection to our true self. We feel lonely, lost and desperate.

And more urgently, we lose all hope of ever feeling happy again.

But there is hope.

There are ways to dive back into a deep respect and appreciation for your natural shape.

These steps may not be easy, but if you take them diligently and believe that freedom and peace of mind is not “out there” but deep within, you’ll soon find yourself happily accepting yourself more than ever before.

And soon you’ll see that:

True Beauty is not simply skin-deep. True beauty is a state of mind, not a state of your body. 

You are Whole already

Body-love starts with the acceptance of the body that you have. Now. Your body is perfect in its imperfection. It doesn’t need to be changed, caged, tortured or shamed. Your body is whole already – just the way it is.

If this concept sounds more ludicrous to you than imagining an alien riding on a unicorn and sprinkling pixie dust in your eyes, then I’d get ready to expect that alien any moment now.

Become present in your body

One of the most effective ways to close the gap between yourself and your body is to become more mindful in your daily life.

Feel the sun on your face or the grass underneath your feet. Massage your feet and your whole body using a scented body lotion. Take a walk in the park and breathe in the fresh air. Feel the water on your skin when you’re taking a shower. Get a facial or body scrub. Stretch with intention until all your body’s tension is gone.

The more you really feel your body again, become present inside your own skin, the more you’ll return to your natural connection to yourself.

Wear clothes that make you feel great 

So often, we wear clothes that simply don’t fit anymore. Either they’re too tight or way too big, have holes in them or look like they belong to a homeless person. How does that make you feel? Awful. So, I  believe it’s time for you to change that.

Toss away all the clothes that don’t fit anymore (yes, even those skinny jeans you’re still hoping to wear some day) and all of the sweaters and sweatpants you reserve for your “fat” days. By putting away clothes, you’ll not only declutter your closet but you’ll also declutter your mind and – even better – you’ll create space for new clothes, new colors and a tiny slice of a new life.

Get Support

Learning to accept your body on your own is absolutely possible, yes, but it’s also so much more challenging than doing it with the support of an amazing, loving community. The process of letting go of all the false beliefs that you’ve carried around for decades is a path of many ups and downs and the simple thought of having a friend to call up and confide in is priceless during this time.

There are countless communities of women who are fed up with dieting and just want to feel at peace with their bodies. So, you’ll have no problem finding a perfect support group for you. You might even want to hire a coach that’ll help you along the way and guide you to your personal body image revolution.

Identify your feelings 

Oftentimes when you stand in front of your mirror and hate everything you see, there’s something completely different going on. Most likely, your mind is trying to paint over the fact that something is utterly wrong in your life.

So, ask yourself:

What is really going on?

Are you feeling sad at the moment? Are you feeling depressed? Lonely? Frustrated? Excited? Ecstatic? Loved? What is it that your mind can’t handle and is trying to tell you by saying you are fat?

These moments of self-loathing are a chance to dig deep and discover the roots of your dissatisfaction. Once you know the real problem, it’s easier to stop  blaming and shaming your body and instead tackle the real issues in your life.

Learn to appreciate what your body does for you

A long, long time ago, women and men were grateful for being healthy and being able to walk, paint, talk and laugh. They loved their bodies because it gave them the opportunity to live.

Let’s go back to that place of deep body appreciation. Remind yourself what your body does for you on a daily basis, and be grateful for all of these things.

It takes some time to get to a place where you can go to bed and really thank your legs for carrying you through the day, your brain for letting you think, your eyes for letting you see your family or your hands for letting you write. But once you do, the feeling of gratitude will almost overwhelm you.

The most important part of tapping into your forgotten love for your body is to never, ever judge yourself for how you feel about your body at any given moment.

In the coming days, weeks and months, I’d like you to challenge yourself by doing the following body-love exercises:

1. Get present in your body by practicing mindfulness – you can use the examples I’ve given you above or be creative and come up with your own ways to ground yourself in the moment.
2. Declutter your closet, and make room for new clothes that fit. Go shopping and treat yourself to something gorgeous. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it should make you feel spectacular. Decorate yourself and celebrate your beauty.
3. Whenever you feel like your body is ruining your life, figure out what is really going on inside you, what you’re really feeling – and then go into action mode to fix this problem.
4. Every night before going to bed or every morning after waking up, think of five things you are grateful for and say them out loud. Even if you don’t mean them at first, after a few days, you will see how much more in tune you’ll feel with your body.
5. Treat your body as you would treat a friend: with deep respect, love and care. Don’t let your body be an afterthought or simply an object of deep dissatisfaction and even hatred, but get to know it and listen to its needs. Treat yourself to a massage, a manicure or pedicure every now and then, or simply buy a wonderful lotion.

More Posts on Your Body

Karen shares her thoughts about the beauty we have but don’t always see here

Deborah writes about beauty and the beast here

Elizabeth talks about in the name of beauty here

You are beautiful inside and out. Don’t ever forget that.