If I were smaller, I’d feel more normal.
If I were smaller, I’d feel more worthy.
If I were smaller, I’d feel more whole.
If I were smaller, I’d feel less “obtrusive”.
If I were smaller, I’d be able to hide.
We make up a myriad of stories about the silver lining we’ll live once we are “smaller”.
Because society has taught us women that to take up space is unacceptable.
We must be small.
But not too plain.
Because if we’re too plain, we’re unattractive – which, in the eyes of society, is unacceptable.
Women need to please men’s eyes.
If we don’t, we’re useless and must be shamed.
The sad thing is that it’s not just men who shame us, nope,
most of those who shame are women.
Women shame women.
Even though we should all be in this together, shouldn’t we?
In an ideal world, we would.
But here we are, collectively wishing we were smaller, take up less and less and LESS space, see-through, bone-thin, fading into nothing.
If we were smaller, we…
Collectively, we waste billions of thoughts on the desire to be thin, thinner, super never ever enough thin.
Collectively, we hold ourselves back from being who we’re meant to be, from doing what we came here to do.
And for what reason?
If we really look at it, what’s the reason behind us needing to be thin?
Do we really believe that all men want women to be stick thin?
I don’t think so.
Do we really believe that we’ll be happier if we’re thinner?
I don’t think so.
Do we really believe that we can only be worthy if there’s no fat on our bones?
I really don’t think so.
What I think – know – is that we try to escape our lives by focusing on losing more and more and more weight.
We are trying to run away from whatever we do not want to face. And the only way to acceptably do this is by obsessing over calories and meal plans.
The desire to be thin is nothing but a diversion, nothing but a genius plan that we collectively came up with in order to not step into our bold magnificence.
All of our fears, tears, hopes, dreams, despair and aspirations are being packed into this tiny box of dieting; safely placed in a cloud of self-hatred in order for us to peacefully avoid our life’s callings.
And yeah, of course, there’s no peace in any of this.
By obsessing over food and our body, we create more pain than we’d ever face if we owned up to the fact that things aren’t really the way we’d like them to be.
We know that and yet, we resist.
You do, don’t you?
It’s still safer to stay in the fear you know than to venture out into the uncertain, into the land of unknowing, into a universe that might be exciting but just completely new.
Here’s the thing though: once you take the first step and then another and another and another, it’ll get easier, more natural. You’ll grow more confident. You’ll find your way. You’ll pave your path.
And it’ll be GRAND.
In order to get to ease and hope, here’s what needs to happen.
1. Let go of dieting.
If you hold on to the concept of needing to count calories in order to “control” your weight, you won’t break free.
2. Let go of the need to be small.
You are so allowed to take up space, my love. You are allowed to stand tall, to be all that you are meant to be.
3. Commit to this new way of being.
Once you let go of diet prison, you will experience a brand-new world and you have to commit to living in it.
4. Embrace your emotions.
Emotions aren’t good or bad. They are. You are. Allow them to flow through you, breathe into them and let them go with love.
5. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.
If you can’t admit to yourself – and others – that this is a scary path, you’ll run away at the first sight of an obstacle. It’s OK to be scared. It’s OK to be hesitant, to doubt. We all do. But if you can’t admit it, own it and live into it, you won’t pass through it.
6. Stop comparing your body to the bodies of photoshopped women.
Whenever you notice what you’re doing, tell yourself to STOP and move on with your day. They’re not real. You are.
7. Get real about what is not working for you right now.
Yeah, just tell it like it is. No more pretending, no more lying.
8. Get clear about what you actually DO want and what you believe is going to work for you.
What are your biggest dreams? What would be your most perfect day? What is your heart asking you to do? What has your soul been telling you for decades?
9. Tell your fears to f**k off.
Obviously, it’s a little bit more difficult than that. But yeah, telling them to f**k the f**k off is a great first step to take the next step.
10. Stay flexible.
As you are turning your ideal life into your real life, your dreams will change. If you stay super rigid about what you thought you wanted, you’ll never “win”. Allow yourself to be as flexible as possible in order to stay true to how you want to feel and who you want to be.
There’s more – there always is.
But those ten steps will support you in tremendous ways; if and only if you choose to apply them, live them and embrace them in the same way you’ve been embracing your quest to a body that was never meant to be.
Go at it, go live your boldly magnificent life and let your soul soar in a body that is full of life and love.
P.S. Are you ready to join the TRIBE? Of course you are.
This month, we’re focusing on DEPENDENCY and all that is related to it: beliefs, emotions, shame, guilt, fear, judgments by others, experiences of the past, etc.
To remind you, here’s just a bit of what you get if you join the Tribe (on top of the monthly themes!)
Worksheets, videos and trainings on the following themes:
👑 Princess or Queen? And how these archetypes relate to body image and food
👑 Overeating, Dieting and Binging – The core healing strategies to get out of diet prison
👑 Unbelieving and finding your core
👑 The best practices to build resilience around media messages and our diet culture
👑 Self-Compassion trumps Self-Esteem: Practices to give yourself kindness and care
👑 Feminine & Masculine Energies and how to use them to your advantage
✍ My personal self-care strategies and exactly what I do to stay confident and in love with my body without falling back into the dieting trap
✍ A brand sparking new Journaling 101 eBook!
🔔 Meditations and other audio messages.
📽 Weekly EFT Videos and scripts.
📽 Weekly Q&As and so much more!
What are you waiting for? Join the TRIBE now!