After I was fired by Starbucks back in September, I needed to find a new (and maybe even the first) purpose in life. I began taking my mission seriously and took my Fighting Anorexia blog and the podcast to a whole new level by not only sharing my side of the story, but by also wanting to help others who were still critically sick. I was flourishing as a person and I was growing every single day.

I worked my butt off, read thousandth of business blog posts, many books on the subject and started to take myself and my business seriously. I gained confidence and I grew my blog to over 2000 amazing readers in only a few months. I wrote my first guide and I was genuinely happy with all aspects of my life. I thought that I had finally uncovered the myth of having a happy spirit and mind: do what yo u love.

Today, however, I went back to work for said company and as I write this, I am more than miserable.

Why did I go back, you ask? Well, I still have A LOT of debt dating back to the 3 months of having to undergo treatment for my eating disorder and keeping several blogs and podcasts alive, tends to become a bit pricy over time.

While I was writing The Ultimate Guide to a Healthy Body Image, I thought that this guide, which I strongly believe in, would help me pay off some debt and at least cover the monthly fees of hosting and other services I use to keep the business going. But, that was not the case. Don’t get me wrong, I sold many copies, but not as much as I would have hoped for (and I want to add here that I wished more people would be brave enough to work on their body image!).

So, instead of wining about it, I thought, I’d do the right and responsible thing and go back to “real” life and earn some real money.

Yeah, it was  a BAD idea. So, SO bad, Anne-Sophie!!!!

I feel like a caged bird that has been given the chance to experience liberty for a glimpse, only to be thrown back to reality.

I started the day, calling my mom, sobbing, desperate for some positive reinforcement. I wanted her to empower me to make it though this day, that I already considered as a “wasted” one. I wanted her to tell me that my eating disorder does not have the right to tell me, this won’t work because I don’t have the scheduled meal times, that I desperately rely on. And at the same time, I needed her to understand, how freaking difficult this was for me, a recovering eating disorder woman, wanting to make a difference in this world.

I went to work, literally tears streaming down my face (I am not trying to be melodramatic here, but simply state the facts), thinking of all the amazing things I’d rather do.

But I did the right thing (or did I?) and put on a smiling face, shared my excitement about this great opportunity and prepared one latte after the other for 9 loooooooong hours.

Now, I may sound as a winy girl being so lazy that she simply doesn’t want to do any work at all.

But that is NOT the case. I love to work a lot. In fact, I have worked more than any other kid I have ever gotten to know in elementary school, high school and later college. I studied ours upon ours to please one teacher and then did the same for the other. I woke up, despising what I had to go through on this very day and I went to bed, hating what I had to face tomorrow. But I did it. Every single day. No matter my sentiments.  I knew that life would always suck, so why would I even question that notion?

As you can tell,I have always known hard work, but I have never experienced the joy of working. Never? Well, not until I started thinking of my life’s work as an actual business, not until I came to the conclusion that my words could really make a difference in other people’s lives.

But making a change won’t necessarily guarantee that others will appreciate your work and actually think of paying you for it. Making a change often means being either poor or doing it while working in a soul-sucking job in order to make end’s meet.

I told my mom today that I thought that I was so happy to finally be free and I thought that I would never have to face situations that were once traumatizing. Her reply? We will never be free and that we will always have to make certain sacrifices in order to earn a living.

I guess it is true to some point, but I refuse to let that thought control what I do for a living.

I don’t want to make sacrifices anymore. I have made them long enough. I have freaking survived the deadliest mental sickness that exists, one that put me in a prison for 14 years, and I believe that this is simply and ultimately ENOUGH.

But, money still has to appear. I still have to pay off that debt. So, where do I go from here? Which roads do I take?

I love earning money, but I want to do that with work that actually MEANS something. Right now, I’d have to earn a bit more than 250 Dollars a day in order to justify to stop working for this coffee shop.

I truly and sincerely believe that it can be done. However, I need YOUR help.

What are your suggestions on how to actually get clients in order to help them either build a blog, produce a podcast or work towards living a happier, fulfilled and body-conscious life?

Do you know anybody who wants to produce a podcast, but doesn’t know how to start? Do you know anybody that needs a virtual assistant?  Are you in contact with someone I could talk to, someone who has more insight in this subject? Would you be willing to recommend my work to someone?

Do you have any ideas on how I could start making 250 Dollars a day by doing what I love?

Doing the work you love can be done, but I still need a few suggestions and hopefully some referrals from you.