The holidays can be tough for those of us who are prone to feeling body-shame and are deathly afraid of putting on those 6 pounds that 2 out of 3 American adults supposedly gain during this time. It can be horrifying to believe that all your hard work, all your denying, suffering and painful calorie counting will be undone in a few mere days.
It’s easy then to destroy your experience of the holidays with mini freakouts (and OK, if you’re like I used to be, those mini freakouts are more epic ones..) because the number on your damn scale just keeps climbing up.
So, if you’re already thinking about your post-holiday-diet and just cannot wait to cut the carbs, count the calories, increase the protein shakes or whatever crazy rule you come up with, wait a minute.
If you’re asking yourself why you cannot stick to a script, why you are always overdoing it and cannot stop indulging in all the delish holiday foods, just breathe.
If you are blaming yourself, hating on yourself, beating yourself up over, really, nothing, try asking yourself some questions.
Questions that don’t solely focus on weight loss or you being bad; questions that don’t relate to fat grams or macronutrients; questions that don’t relate to cellulite and measurements. But questions that’ll help you to put it all – your life, your weight, your scale, your food, your body, your holidays – in perspective once and for all.
Chances are that if you change your focus and inspire your brain to think a bit differently, something inside you might just “click”, you might lose the weight (or not), but you’ll surely change your attitude towards yourself and your fat – and how freaking cool would that be, right?
So, here are the questions that I would love you to ask yourself if you’re in “I-hate-my-f**king-ugly-butt-and-my-ever-growing-cheeks-right-now” mode.
Read through them, ask them and – most importantly – answer them. If you don’t, nothing is going change, my love. That’s a big fat Christmas promise from my heart to yours. <3
- Would I rather wear a size 0 or be happy? Kinda obvious, no? Still worth asking.
- What’s my legacy going to be if I continue like this? Again, don’t judge yourself for your answers here. This is just a glimpse into what’s happening in your mind and life right now. You can always turn everything around – so don’t despair.
- What do I want my legacy to be? Now that you know what’ll happen if you continue on the path you’re currently wandering on, shed a light on what it is you want your legacy to be. What do you want other people to learn from you? What do you want to be remembered for? What matters and should last?
- What am I experiencing right now? Check in with yourself. What’s going on inside and outside right this very moment? Do this especially when you feel overcome with the urge to binge and/or diet.
- What would it be like to just trust my body? Have you ever even trusted your body or have you just always been naturally at war with it? It might be difficult to imagine what it’d be like to trust that your body isn’t evil and doesn’t want you to feel oh so uncomfortable after a big binge or oh so hungry because you’re starving yourself, but I know you’re smart and you can find that space within that lets you imagine what would change if you just trusted a tiny little bit.
- How does our culture influence the way I see myself? This question is more a reflection, but it’ll give you a better understanding of what you believe to be beautiful and hot. Think about it: is this actually really what you think?
- Who would I be if I were a size 0? How would you change? How would your life be different?
- What would be so bad about never reaching my goal weight? What would be the most horrible outcome of you never losing that 20 pounds or achieving the weight you’ve had when you were 13 years old?
- What am I hoping to get out of losing this weight? What’s the end goal here? You’ll have lost the weight and then what?
- How would I feel if I were to enjoy my food instead of worrying about it? Imagine for a minute that you had no fight with food, how would you behave during eating situations? What would you eat when going out on a date with a hot guy? How would you feel on a cellular level when you were to sit down to have lunch?
- What am I getting out of staying exactly where I am right now? Often times we stay in the place we’re at because it gives us something: safety, comfort, hope, excitement, something to worry about and feel bad about. What’s the reason in your case?
- Who am I secretely blaming for my distorted relationship with food and my body? We all have people in our lives that we blame for the way we look at our bodies and at food. I can name you a list that’s at least 3 pages long. Be petty and write them all down, then rant about these people and maybe fill out a Judge Your Neigbhor Worksheet here.
- How can I feel thin right now? We’re mostly not after the weight and the body shape, what we’re really after is the feeling of being thin – the lightness in our hearts. How could you achieve that lightness now?
- When you resolve to go on yet another diet, ask yourself: How have diets been working for me? What’s different now? Why am I willingly setting myself up for failure?
- If my body was an animal, thing or place, what would it be? How would you treat it differently? What would it teach you and what purpose would it have?
- What would I do if I didn’t fight my body? I love, love, love this question because it opens up a whole new world of possibilities. We are so narrow-minded when we fight our body and we forget that there’s an entirely different way. Think about what your life and your body would be like if you just stopped fighting already.
- Am I even ready and willing to try a different way? Be honest here, are you willing to change? Are you ready to try a road that you’ve never walked on before or do you just want to do the same old crazy strategies over and over again?
- What do I already know that isn’t working for me anymore? Sometimes we continue to commit to habits we already know have longed stopped working for us. They don’t give us the same high they used to. They don’t give us the satisfaction, the comfort we’re yearning for. They simply don’t work. So, why are you holding on to them?
- What’s a healthy attitude towards eating for me? Try to forget about all the advice you’ve been given throughout your life and instead ask yourself what you believe having a healthy attitude towards food means.
- Who would I be without the thought that I am powerless around food? How would you behave if you didn’t create that story of your behavior around food? How would you feel? What would or wouldn’t you do?
- When was I happiest in my life? Did it involve being thin? Did it involve stepping on the scale? Did it involve saying NO to food while everyone else was indulging in a piece of chocolate cake?
- How has my weight/ my relationship with food helped me in my life? Let’s be honest, we use food and our weight for a reason. It feels protective, helps us deal with feelings, numbs us, makes us survive – and we’re super smart for using food and our weight like that. Make a list of the events that food helped you through.
- Can you love the person inside the body? Even if you insist on never ever being able to love your body, figure out if you can love the person that inhabits it. You, my love, are a worthy and lovable human being – no matter the fat tissue that houses your soul.
- Why do I believe that hating my body into being thin will make me eventually love my body? Why do you?
- Why am I creating self-imposed misery until I get rid of this weight? Why won’t I choose happiness and lose the weight? So, even if you feel like you can never accept the weight you have in this moment, stop insisting on wanting to feel f**king crappy until you get to the weight that’ll make you be at peace. Create a journey that’s full of life, adventure, love. Create a journey that’s actually fun. Your life won’t wait for you to lose the weight, so live it now. {Click to Tweet}
I’d love to hear which one of these questions resonated the most with you and what you’re going to do about it. Share it in the comments. <3
