2013-01-01 17.06.12Dear NYC,

thank you for the past six months.

Thank you for carrying me, inspiring me, uplifting me, distracting me, thrilling me. Thank you for giving me a chance to grow, to learn and to transform into a better, stronger, more fierce version of myself. Thank you for making me feel at home instantly and for never making me feel alone. Thank you for giving me the ability to dream!

But most importantly, thank you for giving me me!

The time here in NYC has been incredible. I feel like I was broken open – much wider than ever before. I was given the chance to really get to know myself, to dive in deeper and to come out stronger.

I’ve learned so much: from surrendering to the subway system to going after jobs that seemed way out of my league, from doing B-school to joining the Good Life Immersion Project with Jonathan Fields. I’ve grown and I’m changed.

My favorite lessons of the past six months:

1. I’m able…

I have never cooked before I came to NY. I mean, I was able to cook, yes, but I never chose to prepare a meal for myself or others. When I was married, my husband did the job and before that, well, my mom… But coming here, I wanted to really take care of myself and so I did: I learned to cook and I made the commitment to cook healthily. I suddenly found myself preparing meals with quinoa, millet, barley – ingredients that I had never heard before. But I tried them and loved them; much to my surprise. I’ve had so much fun experimenting with food and as a result, I’ve never been and looked healthier and felt more energetic!

2. I’m likable…

Although I still suck at networking, I’ve definitely taken great steps forward. I’ve gone to book launches and spiritual events and I think I’ve had more lunch and cocktail meet-ups in the last six months than during my entire life. It’s definitely been fun, but also a bit nerve-wrecking. It’s not easy for me to put myself out there, to be confident in myself and to represent my work in a professional way. I always have thoughts like ‘my work is not important at all’ or ‘man, she looks so much prettier, is so much skinner than me’ running through my mind, bu tover time, I was able to push them aside – lovingly – and go about introducing myself to more people. I’ve learned that we’re all equal, we all have major insecurities and we all just want to be loved and accepted, right?

3. I’m employable…

The biggest lesson (or miracle) was, without a shadow of a doubt, the fact that after two weeks of moving here, I was offerend three jobs. I had many, many job interviews and ended up working for three companies. Yes! It was unbelievable to me that other people saw potential in my work. But they did and – had it not been for the visa issue – I’d now be rocking it at an agency on 26th Street.

4. I can believe in my work!

Through finding work, I’ve finally seen that I’m not just a fraud, that I can trust myself, build on myself, believe in myself. By being accepted into the Good Life Immersion Program, working with Jonathan Fields on my brand and my good life (how freaking cool is that?!), I’ve realized that I’m not the only one believing in the message of making peace with yourself, your body and food and this knowledge has given me much more confidence to move forward with my mission.

5. I can rely on myself!

Yes, there have been evenings when I was homesick and there have been challenging days and weeks. However, I’ve been able to hold space for myself, console myself and be there for myself like never before. I’ve always enjoyed traveling on my own, living by myself, spending time with myself,  but I’ve always fled into my anorexia. This time, it was different. This time, I was taking care of myself and I stayed strong.

Although the outcome is different than I had hoped it was going to be, I can only recommend chasing your dreams and going for what you’ve always wanted.

You might not get what you were dreaming of, but you may end up with so much more!

NYC, I’m not ready to move on, but I have to. For now. I’ll see you again soon. With love, Anne-Sophie 

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